It likely kept you alive, as ironic as that sounds. As you know, alcohol does not have the same effect on me. And look how I almost ended up with my life.
[Would the happy buzz of booze have taken the edge off, kept him from trying to snuff his flame out underneath a lighthouse? He can't say. But it probably would've made the years of loneliness he felt a bit more bearable, at the cost of sobriety.]
I feel like it is I who does not say it enough. You have been quite upfront in your affections to me, and yet by nature I am more subdued about them. It's just how I'm made, in that sense.
Know that I'll be sure to help you stay the course. All I wish is for you to be your happiest self. As someone who loves you, that is the least I can give to you.
That's... yeah. I guess it was also how I tried to destroy myself, too. Double-edged sword, y'know?
[And yet it was probably better than what his brain would have done with him without it. In that, he and Flins are depressingly well-matched. ]
I mean, it's okay? I ain't cut up about it or anything. You are who you are, and I knew what I was getting into. I know how you feel, you don't gotta shout it through the rooftops or anything.
...Thanks. That helps. Once I hit six months, I'll probably start telling people. Think half a year is good enough to stop worrying it might fall apart, y'know?
[What dark times they lived through, despite it all. Flins idly wonders if the feelings they had for each other, if they answered them earlier, if anything would've changed. It's only for a moment, though.
Fate played out as it did for a reason.]
That puts my heart at ease. You need not worry of my feelings towards you. They are as deep as the ocean, and wide as the Russian tundra. Even if I test those limits every day with you.
So. How should we celebrate when you reach six months? Having something to look forward to is a common tactic to sticking to your goal.
Maybe. But things are what they are, and I wouldn't change 'em.
[ Sure, they'd gone through hell and back - but those experiences had made them who they are today. Husk isn't one to put much weight in destiny and all that bullshit, but he did think whatever they experienced led them to this. And he wouldn't give up this for anything in the world. It is what it is. ]
I ain't worried about that at all. But still... nice to hear. Very much likewise.
I dunno. I never thought I'd get this far. I don't even know what people do to celebrate this kinda thing. Most of the parties I know have alcohol in them which kinda defeats the point.
[Husk not asking the big questions was such a refreshing change of pace. It kept Flins from overthinking about things himself. It was more treasured than the cat knew.]
We could go to that delightful place that sells pizza with the mouse mascot.
I know I was, I don't spend time with a lotta people generally.
[ God. Is he really going to go to a children's eatery to celebrate his sobriety? Because it will have coins and trinkets. He doesn't need the video on to see how delighted Flins is by the idea of doing that. And he would honestly do just about anything to see that expression on his partner's face.]
I reckon they're probably all a little old for it these days, but sure. Chances of any of the kids ever going there is slim.
You would trick your own children into showing up to your sobriety party? For shame...they would come out of their love for you.
[Now who's the weird parent! It's not him!]
There's one that sticks out in particular. An individual steps into a cylindrical tube while tickets are blown about like they are in a wind storm. The person inside must try to collect as many as possible.
Husk, let's sign you up for that one. Your cat-like reflexes are sure to be in their element.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cw: mild suicide ideation mention
Date: 2026-02-19 02:53 am (UTC)[Would the happy buzz of booze have taken the edge off, kept him from trying to snuff his flame out underneath a lighthouse? He can't say. But it probably would've made the years of loneliness he felt a bit more bearable, at the cost of sobriety.]
I feel like it is I who does not say it enough. You have been quite upfront in your affections to me, and yet by nature I am more subdued about them. It's just how I'm made, in that sense.
Know that I'll be sure to help you stay the course. All I wish is for you to be your happiest self. As someone who loves you, that is the least I can give to you.
cw: mild suicide ideation mention
Date: 2026-02-20 08:53 pm (UTC)[And yet it was probably better than what his brain would have done with him without it. In that, he and Flins are depressingly well-matched. ]
I mean, it's okay? I ain't cut up about it or anything. You are who you are, and I knew what I was getting into. I know how you feel, you don't gotta shout it through the rooftops or anything.
...Thanks. That helps. Once I hit six months, I'll probably start telling people. Think half a year is good enough to stop worrying it might fall apart, y'know?
no subject
Date: 2026-02-21 04:57 am (UTC)[What dark times they lived through, despite it all. Flins idly wonders if the feelings they had for each other, if they answered them earlier, if anything would've changed. It's only for a moment, though.
Fate played out as it did for a reason.]
That puts my heart at ease. You need not worry of my feelings towards you. They are as deep as the ocean, and wide as the Russian tundra. Even if I test those limits every day with you.
So. How should we celebrate when you reach six months? Having something to look forward to is a common tactic to sticking to your goal.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-21 02:59 pm (UTC)[ Sure, they'd gone through hell and back - but those experiences had made them who they are today. Husk isn't one to put much weight in destiny and all that bullshit, but he did think whatever they experienced led them to this. And he wouldn't give up this for anything in the world. It is what it is. ]
I ain't worried about that at all. But still... nice to hear. Very much likewise.
I dunno. I never thought I'd get this far. I don't even know what people do to celebrate this kinda thing. Most of the parties I know have alcohol in them which kinda defeats the point.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-23 06:38 am (UTC)[Husk not asking the big questions was such a refreshing change of pace. It kept Flins from overthinking about things himself. It was more treasured than the cat knew.]
We could go to that delightful place that sells pizza with the mouse mascot.
Cats would enjoy that, yes?
no subject
Date: 2026-02-23 06:42 pm (UTC)[ It's fine, they can ignore those for now. ]
...Kyryll are you suggesting I go to Chuck E Fuckin' Cheese to celebrate six months of sobriety?
no subject
Date: 2026-02-23 10:52 pm (UTC)[There's a pause. Which is universal for 'yes'.]
Why not? There is pizzas, coins, and little tickets you can earn for trinkets. Does it not sound delightful?
Jun, Varian and Harumasa would love it.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-24 12:55 am (UTC)[ God. Is he really going to go to a children's eatery to celebrate his sobriety? Because it will have coins and trinkets. He doesn't need the video on to see how delighted Flins is by the idea of doing that. And he would honestly do just about anything to see that expression on his partner's face.]
I reckon they're probably all a little old for it these days, but sure. Chances of any of the kids ever going there is slim.
Sounds like you'd like it too, huh?
no subject
Date: 2026-02-24 04:52 am (UTC)[He won't dive into that any further. They're celebrating here.]
Perhaps you should ask them. I'm sure they would love to go if only to join in on your celebration.
I have seen a booth where they shoot tickets at you, Husk. You would do splendid.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-24 07:44 pm (UTC)Or. We could just not ask them. And tell them to show up at the address. See their faces when they realise what it is.
[ Because it's an honest 50/50 if he could convince them to go otherwise. ]
Yeah, that's standard in most kids places like that. You get tickets to get a prize. It's like Infant Gambling.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-25 08:56 am (UTC)[Now who's the weird parent! It's not him!]
There's one that sticks out in particular. An individual steps into a cylindrical tube while tickets are blown about like they are in a wind storm. The person inside must try to collect as many as possible.
Husk, let's sign you up for that one. Your cat-like reflexes are sure to be in their element.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-25 11:32 pm (UTC)...What.
[ No. What. What the fuck. ]
Like in a fuckin' game show? I'm gonna hard veto that one. Have they got any poker games? Maybe blackjack? I can do those.
[ At the children's restaurant. ]