As I said! I am completely innocent. [That is NOT what Husk said, Flins.] Perhaps I could see if he is possessed by Eros. That would explain everything.
[And then, he starts typing again, almost immediately:]
I'd rather not know, anyway. Amazing you can do that and still don't know what end of the charger goes into your phone. Wow.
I didn't say that Asshat. And I think he's just overcompensating having actual feelings and instead of dealing with them, he's gotta make himself look like the horniest motherfucker on the planet. So if you give him a tiny opening like that, he'll make it something big and anyone reading might get the wrong idea.
....Moved it to the bedside table drawer, did you?
But you look so handsome when you plug it in. How could I take away a moment of you coming to be my hero?
[That part...does make him pause, though. His playful mode is put on pause as he reads this.]
That certainly does paint a more full picture of the man. I had thought he was simply a casanova, as hit or miss as his attempts were. Now that you mention it, it does explain his worry for Mollymauk.
I don't see what he has to worry about. Human kindness is one of the greatest treasures this world was bestowed, and he's clearly capable of giving it and receiving it. Instead he tries to slash at his own painting, making the scars before someone else can make them for him.
I hope whatever path he's on, it leads him to a warm embrace.
[Okay. Back to playful.]
I'll give you a hint:
January 24, 2026 CE Lottery Number, Fourth Position: 48
I can see you're trying to flatter me out of ever learning to plug your damn phone in for yourself. I see what you're doing.
[And yet he will continue doing it. As it's a good excuse to go see Flins every day. ]
Hrm. I can't quite put my finger on the why yet. He had a real rough childhood, not my story to tell, but I expect that played a real heavy role in why he's so scared to open himself up to the possibility that he's allowed to care for people. And that they're allowed to care for him, too.
It's for sure self-destructive, but in my experience, people like that need to come to that on their own. You can show them that you're there for them, that you understand 'em - but the steps forward to healing have gotta be their own. He reminds me of someone I knew in my past life.
[It's the reminders of Angel Dust that make him more inclined to put up with Zevran's bullshit, really. It touches a part of his heart he tends to keep separate. Protected. He can't remember if he ever helped Angel get fully free of his demons - his memories around the man start to get hazy around the time Vox started his bullshit. But it makes him want to help Zevran. Maybe he can do something in this life.]
Me too, though. Much as he'd fuckin' deny it, he does deserve it.
...How is that even a hint? That's just the lottery numbers.
You make it sound like it's falsely assigned flattery. I can assure you it's all true.
[But that's...worrying. That's certainly not something a man in his twenties, maybe thirties should be doing. That should be reserved for old gods or fae, who have seen lifetimes pass them by and wonder if they even have a place in it.]
What a shame. It is like one lantern along a mountain path flickering in the night, and yet refuses to let anyone fix it. I'm sure if he just allowed someone to, his light would shine quite brilliantly.
It's not my place to pry, though. I surely doubt he would even let me if I tried. I only hope he comes to the best conclusion for him. It may not be the one he personally wants, though.
Did they take those steps in the end? Or...if you don't remember, do you think they did?
[Oh, but that gets a little glint in his eye on the other side of the screen.]
It's still just plugging a phone in, Babe. It ain't a life skill.
[ It sure isn't but here they are. ]
I agree with you. I've told him it won't fuckin' kill him to let people in. Let himself... I don't know, have a fuckin' genuine emotion. Maybe he'll come to it on his own. There's a lot of people who care about him who are stubborn as hell. Maybe they'll out-pace him on this one.
[ The question about Angel hurts his chest. He doesn't know. He wants to hope that Angel got out of it, more than anything. But- but but but but. ]
Angel... he really wanted to get redeemed. Get into Heaven, y'know? He'd started to get better, he'd cut back on the drugs, he was doing therapy. I thought he really had a chance to figure out his... broken bullshit and get himself outta Hell.
...But he was like me. Owned. Not by Alastor. By someone... somehow fuckin' worse. His pimp, an asshole named Valentino. No matter how hard he tried to get the fuck out from under him, he always got dragged back. I don't remember if he got out. I hope so, more than fuckin' anything, I hope so. But... I don't know. Fate ain't kind to him.
[ There's another long pause. Flins is equally a person he probably shouldn't talk about Angel much with and also the person who'd probably understand the most.]
He was probably the most important person for me. In my past life. He meant... so fucking much to me. Y'know Fat Nuggets? My pig. Well, he was Angel's pig. I dunno how he ended up coming here without him. S'why I've been taking care of him. I owe Angel that much.
[ Because Angel loved that fucking pig. More than anything. Maybe he'll never show up in this life at all. But Husk figures he can do one thing right by the man by taking care of his damn pig. ]
Okay, Kyryll, normally I got a pretty good grasp when you do the cryptic fae bullshit, but I'm lost on this one.
It is sometimes very difficult to see that you are worthy of love. You put up a shell of indifference, so that both affection and degradation bounce off. It is seen as a necessary sacrifice to protect the fragile heart that lies within.
[Flins listens as Husk types about Angel. Knowing how Husk's previous life worked--with the emphasis on redeeming lost souls--it was no wonder that there would be demons who desperately wanted that second chance. Angel must've been one of them, given all the steps he took.
Only to hear he was owned just like Husk was. What a terrible, terrible situation. Trapped underneath the foot of someone vile, forced to lift them while you sink further in the mud. It was heartbreaking, knowing that even your effort amounted to nothing if you were leashed to someone else.]
You loved him.
[He says it so casually. The idea that Husk loved someone else in his past life was not just an expectation, but it was normal for Flins. Of course he would've. In fact, it's his duty as Husk's current partner to be there to discuss the feelings he had for his past life.]
It's why the situation is so personal to you. You wanted to help Angel be free from his situation as badly as you wanted to be free from yours. You saw a kindred spirit, you both wanted better for yourselves. and yet you were chained to people who did not see you human.
I do hope Angel made it to this world, if only so that you can see him happy. I'm sure both you and he want that more than anything.
[The soul is a fickle thing, but if Lauma can show up...after all this time...]
Zev is real good at that. I can see it a mile off, so I don't know who the fuck he thinks he's fooling. Maybe himself? But it ain't working, and the sooner he drops it and lets himself damn well feel, the better he'll be for it.
[Husk stops when he reads those three words. So simple and obvious, really. Deep down, he's known that's how it was for a while. The few memories that have recently filtered through have only confirmed that. But it's the first time anyone's put that so plainly in front of him before. Husk's got a bleeding heart, much as he hates that he does. People get close to him a lot easier than he would ever admit to. He cares about other people a great deal. And those he does love, he loves fiercely.
But love love? The romantic sort? That's something he gives much less easily. There's only two people in his living memory that have managed to get that out of him. And one of them is pointing out the other like it's the easiest thing in the world. ]
...Suppose I did.
[No suppose about it. He remembers the night Angel found him in The Magic Kat - the talk they had, how he felt after. Angel called him out on his refusal to return to the Hotel. And he'd been right, of course he had been - because no one in that city knew him better than Angel. There's no denying any of that. ]
It was what brought us together. I couldn't fuckin' stand him at first. He did the same shit Zev is doing now. Putting on a goddamn performance, acting like shit didn't matter, like it wasn't hurting him. He pulled that oversexual flirting bullshit too - it's why I could see what Zev was doing a mile off.
...But one night we just talked about it. Agreed if we were both in a dogshit situation we couldn't get out of, we could at least talk to each other about it. Make it more bearable than handling it alone, y'know? Gave each other someone who could get it.
[ It does mean a lot that Flins wanted that too, though. Angel was someone so few people ever had any faith in. He could use someone else in his corner - even if it was someone from a whole different world, a whole different life, who never knew him. ]
He was close. I know he was close. Then Vox showed up and did some... goddamn shady bullshit and took the wind out of his sails. He'd given up on it, last memory I have of him. But I don't reckon that stuck. Angel ain't that sort of person. ...But thanks. Me too. He deserves to get up there.
[ There's something Husk is missing, he knows that. There's a piece of his memories that doesn't slot in quite right. There's a gap and he isn't sure why he can't grasp it yet. Maybe Angel really did figure it out. Maybe that's why he's not in Husk's memories after they dealt with The Might of Lilith. Maybe something happened and up he popped. ]
...That's cryptic as fuck, what does that even MEAN?
I have no doubt he will. While elves take longer than humans to adopt to new ways of thinking, they are no less adaptable. He will soon see how many lives he's touched in his short time here, and when that happens, the realization that he has been just as affected will dawn on him.
[Flins reads as Husk types this out, as if finally letting free his heart from its cage. It was comforting to Flins to know that Husk had someone in his old life that made him feel that way. He knows he is an anomaly, an old spirit that clung to time more than most living beings could. So his heart warms knowing that even without him, Husk was being loved by someone.]
I'm glad that you found him in that life. It sounds like even if the world was against you, you were each other's pillars. As long as one of you could stand, you could support the other, until it was their time.
That...is what true love is. To stand and support the ones you give your heart to in a way you give to no one else.
[His brow furrows every so slightly before he starts to type again.]
If he is able to match you in any way, I would likely say he has stubbornness in spades. I may not know the end to your story in that life, but considering you are here, and Sir Nuggets has found his way to you...I am quite confident you were both redeemed in the end, with happy lives.
Who knows? Maybe he's here as we speak. I'd love to meet him--we have a lot in common already.
I'm pretty sure he's like... fuckin' thirty, because he complained when I called him a kid. I know that's a spit in the ocean for you, but it sure as shit is old enough to know better for a mortal. But some people take a lot longer to figure themselves out. He's got a lotta support. It'll sink in eventually.
[ It feels... weirdly freeing to say it, really. To let it be a truth in the world. Husk had spent so much of his past life pretending he couldn't love anything or anyone anymore - a patently untrue statement, but one that kept him going in Hell all the same. ]
Yeah. Well. When everything's piled up against you like that, you kinda need to find someone who gets it or you end up... a fucking mess. I know given how long I was one. There's a reason I drank so much all the damn time.
[ Drank past tense. Though at his point, he's fairly certain Flins will have noticed his alcohol intake has gone to nothing. Especially given how many nights he spent outside those various lighthouses absolutely drinking on the job. He's not quite ready to voice THAT yet. He's still afraid of jinxing himself. But it's been five months now. Longest it's ever been. Maybe it's getting close to time to admit he has a fighting chance with this. ]
...Ain't that the truth. Only two people have managed that one with me. You can count yourself as part of a very exclusive club. If that's a blessing or a curse is still up for debate.
Yeah, he's stubborn alight. Digs his lanky ass heels in and refuses to fuckin' budge. I still don't know about me. That's... I'm working on that part. But I hope he did. It'd be some kinda bullshit if it never happened after all the work he put in to get himself better.
He'd like you. He's a quirky weirdo that's good at making friends, too. Guess I've got a type.
[He GUESSES he's got a type. He GUESSES. Speaking of. ]
...You're right. That may as well be a newborn in my eyes. But I do understand human lifespans. I did watch Nikita grow up...so I have a general idea. He's well old enough to realize that sort of avoidance will only make facing the reality that he's wanted even harder.
I truly wonder if his heart is at war with itself. He is transplanted from another world entirely. Maybe he's fighting connections here because of that.
[It was good to see Husk accept those feelings about himself. The road to self-betterment is a long one, but reaching specific waypoints was always satisfying to see. Husk deserved that.]
It's good to see the opposite. Your eyes were much more clouded back then. They have a certain clarity to them now. A gold that could rival the world's most lustrous amber.
And knowing I'm in such an exclusive club...why, I couldn't be a happier lantern if I tried. We know who is really stuck with who.
[It's truly not Husk who's the curse in this relationship.]
You truly think so? I'll have to make sure when I meet him that I tell him all the embarrassing things you've done over the years. Staring with that time I got you to meow outside the door.
[He's no longer taking questions on a certain pinecone. Can't ruin the surprise!]
Exactly. Sure, he's young, but he ain't young enough to be pulling this shit as much as he did.
Maybe. He mentioned a "Warden" from his home world - spoke about them like they meant a lot to him. But then he also said he ain't that fussed about sharing, so-
[ Husk would have opinions on what he deserves, but even he knows that his opinion of himself isn't exactly fair and his loved ones have very different takes on that.
Oh, and that... was it a compliment? It feels like a compliment. ]
Turning the charm up again, huh? I'll take it. Thanks, Baby.
Eh, you ain't so bad once you get used to you. I just had four decades to do that.
What? No? Fuck off, don't do that! I don't need both of you on that bullshit! And I didn't fucking meow I told you I COUGHED and you heard it wrong.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2026-01-25 01:28 am (UTC)[Harumasa taught him.]
As I said! I am completely innocent. [That is NOT what Husk said, Flins.] Perhaps I could see if he is possessed by Eros. That would explain everything.
[And then, he starts typing again, almost immediately:]
It's not, but you won't find it.
no subject
Date: 2026-01-25 01:41 am (UTC)I didn't say that Asshat. And I think he's just overcompensating having actual feelings and instead of dealing with them, he's gotta make himself look like the horniest motherfucker on the planet. So if you give him a tiny opening like that, he'll make it something big and anyone reading might get the wrong idea.
....Moved it to the bedside table drawer, did you?
no subject
Date: 2026-01-25 01:57 am (UTC)[That part...does make him pause, though. His playful mode is put on pause as he reads this.]
That certainly does paint a more full picture of the man. I had thought he was simply a casanova, as hit or miss as his attempts were. Now that you mention it, it does explain his worry for Mollymauk.
I don't see what he has to worry about. Human kindness is one of the greatest treasures this world was bestowed, and he's clearly capable of giving it and receiving it. Instead he tries to slash at his own painting, making the scars before someone else can make them for him.
I hope whatever path he's on, it leads him to a warm embrace.
[Okay. Back to playful.]
I'll give you a hint:
January 24, 2026 CE
Lottery Number, Fourth Position: 48
no subject
Date: 2026-01-25 02:10 am (UTC)[And yet he will continue doing it. As it's a good excuse to go see Flins every day. ]
Hrm. I can't quite put my finger on the why yet. He had a real rough childhood, not my story to tell, but I expect that played a real heavy role in why he's so scared to open himself up to the possibility that he's allowed to care for people. And that they're allowed to care for him, too.
It's for sure self-destructive, but in my experience, people like that need to come to that on their own. You can show them that you're there for them, that you understand 'em - but the steps forward to healing have gotta be their own. He reminds me of someone I knew in my past life.
[It's the reminders of Angel Dust that make him more inclined to put up with Zevran's bullshit, really. It touches a part of his heart he tends to keep separate. Protected. He can't remember if he ever helped Angel get fully free of his demons - his memories around the man start to get hazy around the time Vox started his bullshit. But it makes him want to help Zevran. Maybe he can do something in this life.]
Me too, though. Much as he'd fuckin' deny it, he does deserve it.
...How is that even a hint? That's just the lottery numbers.
no subject
Date: 2026-01-25 02:45 am (UTC)[But that's...worrying. That's certainly not something a man in his twenties, maybe thirties should be doing. That should be reserved for old gods or fae, who have seen lifetimes pass them by and wonder if they even have a place in it.]
What a shame. It is like one lantern along a mountain path flickering in the night, and yet refuses to let anyone fix it. I'm sure if he just allowed someone to, his light would shine quite brilliantly.
It's not my place to pry, though. I surely doubt he would even let me if I tried. I only hope he comes to the best conclusion for him. It may not be the one he personally wants, though.
Did they take those steps in the end? Or...if you don't remember, do you think they did?
[Oh, but that gets a little glint in his eye on the other side of the screen.]
It is. But perhaps there's more to it.
no subject
Date: 2026-01-25 09:08 pm (UTC)[ It sure isn't but here they are. ]
I agree with you. I've told him it won't fuckin' kill him to let people in. Let himself... I don't know, have a fuckin' genuine emotion. Maybe he'll come to it on his own. There's a lot of people who care about him who are stubborn as hell. Maybe they'll out-pace him on this one.
[ The question about Angel hurts his chest. He doesn't know. He wants to hope that Angel got out of it, more than anything. But- but but but but. ]
Angel... he really wanted to get redeemed. Get into Heaven, y'know? He'd started to get better, he'd cut back on the drugs, he was doing therapy. I thought he really had a chance to figure out his... broken bullshit and get himself outta Hell.
...But he was like me. Owned. Not by Alastor. By someone... somehow fuckin' worse. His pimp, an asshole named Valentino. No matter how hard he tried to get the fuck out from under him, he always got dragged back. I don't remember if he got out. I hope so, more than fuckin' anything, I hope so. But... I don't know. Fate ain't kind to him.
[ There's another long pause. Flins is equally a person he probably shouldn't talk about Angel much with and also the person who'd probably understand the most.]
He was probably the most important person for me. In my past life. He meant... so fucking much to me. Y'know Fat Nuggets? My pig. Well, he was Angel's pig. I dunno how he ended up coming here without him. S'why I've been taking care of him. I owe Angel that much.
[ Because Angel loved that fucking pig. More than anything. Maybe he'll never show up in this life at all. But Husk figures he can do one thing right by the man by taking care of his damn pig. ]
Okay, Kyryll, normally I got a pretty good grasp when you do the cryptic fae bullshit, but I'm lost on this one.
no subject
Date: 2026-01-26 03:08 am (UTC)[Flins listens as Husk types about Angel. Knowing how Husk's previous life worked--with the emphasis on redeeming lost souls--it was no wonder that there would be demons who desperately wanted that second chance. Angel must've been one of them, given all the steps he took.
Only to hear he was owned just like Husk was. What a terrible, terrible situation. Trapped underneath the foot of someone vile, forced to lift them while you sink further in the mud. It was heartbreaking, knowing that even your effort amounted to nothing if you were leashed to someone else.]
You loved him.
[He says it so casually. The idea that Husk loved someone else in his past life was not just an expectation, but it was normal for Flins. Of course he would've. In fact, it's his duty as Husk's current partner to be there to discuss the feelings he had for his past life.]
It's why the situation is so personal to you. You wanted to help Angel be free from his situation as badly as you wanted to be free from yours. You saw a kindred spirit, you both wanted better for yourselves. and yet you were chained to people who did not see you human.
I do hope Angel made it to this world, if only so that you can see him happy. I'm sure both you and he want that more than anything.
[The soul is a fickle thing, but if Lauma can show up...after all this time...]
Did I not say you would never find it?
no subject
Date: 2026-01-26 09:20 pm (UTC)[Husk stops when he reads those three words. So simple and obvious, really. Deep down, he's known that's how it was for a while. The few memories that have recently filtered through have only confirmed that. But it's the first time anyone's put that so plainly in front of him before. Husk's got a bleeding heart, much as he hates that he does. People get close to him a lot easier than he would ever admit to. He cares about other people a great deal. And those he does love, he loves fiercely.
But love love? The romantic sort? That's something he gives much less easily. There's only two people in his living memory that have managed to get that out of him. And one of them is pointing out the other like it's the easiest thing in the world. ]
...Suppose I did.
[No suppose about it. He remembers the night Angel found him in The Magic Kat - the talk they had, how he felt after. Angel called him out on his refusal to return to the Hotel. And he'd been right, of course he had been - because no one in that city knew him better than Angel. There's no denying any of that. ]
It was what brought us together. I couldn't fuckin' stand him at first. He did the same shit Zev is doing now. Putting on a goddamn performance, acting like shit didn't matter, like it wasn't hurting him. He pulled that oversexual flirting bullshit too - it's why I could see what Zev was doing a mile off.
...But one night we just talked about it. Agreed if we were both in a dogshit situation we couldn't get out of, we could at least talk to each other about it. Make it more bearable than handling it alone, y'know? Gave each other someone who could get it.
[ It does mean a lot that Flins wanted that too, though. Angel was someone so few people ever had any faith in. He could use someone else in his corner - even if it was someone from a whole different world, a whole different life, who never knew him. ]
He was close. I know he was close. Then Vox showed up and did some... goddamn shady bullshit and took the wind out of his sails. He'd given up on it, last memory I have of him. But I don't reckon that stuck. Angel ain't that sort of person. ...But thanks. Me too. He deserves to get up there.
[ There's something Husk is missing, he knows that. There's a piece of his memories that doesn't slot in quite right. There's a gap and he isn't sure why he can't grasp it yet. Maybe Angel really did figure it out. Maybe that's why he's not in Husk's memories after they dealt with The Might of Lilith. Maybe something happened and up he popped. ]
...That's cryptic as fuck, what does that even MEAN?
no subject
Date: 2026-01-27 10:24 pm (UTC)[Flins reads as Husk types this out, as if finally letting free his heart from its cage. It was comforting to Flins to know that Husk had someone in his old life that made him feel that way. He knows he is an anomaly, an old spirit that clung to time more than most living beings could. So his heart warms knowing that even without him, Husk was being loved by someone.]
I'm glad that you found him in that life. It sounds like even if the world was against you, you were each other's pillars. As long as one of you could stand, you could support the other, until it was their time.
That...is what true love is. To stand and support the ones you give your heart to in a way you give to no one else.
[His brow furrows every so slightly before he starts to type again.]
If he is able to match you in any way, I would likely say he has stubbornness in spades. I may not know the end to your story in that life, but considering you are here, and Sir Nuggets has found his way to you...I am quite confident you were both redeemed in the end, with happy lives.
Who knows? Maybe he's here as we speak. I'd love to meet him--we have a lot in common already.
[At Husk's question, he can only smile wider.]
It's my little secret~
no subject
Date: 2026-01-27 11:09 pm (UTC)[ It feels... weirdly freeing to say it, really. To let it be a truth in the world. Husk had spent so much of his past life pretending he couldn't love anything or anyone anymore - a patently untrue statement, but one that kept him going in Hell all the same. ]
Yeah. Well. When everything's piled up against you like that, you kinda need to find someone who gets it or you end up... a fucking mess. I know given how long I was one. There's a reason I drank so much all the damn time.
[ Drank past tense. Though at his point, he's fairly certain Flins will have noticed his alcohol intake has gone to nothing. Especially given how many nights he spent outside those various lighthouses absolutely drinking on the job. He's not quite ready to voice THAT yet. He's still afraid of jinxing himself. But it's been five months now. Longest it's ever been. Maybe it's getting close to time to admit he has a fighting chance with this. ]
...Ain't that the truth. Only two people have managed that one with me. You can count yourself as part of a very exclusive club. If that's a blessing or a curse is still up for debate.
Yeah, he's stubborn alight. Digs his lanky ass heels in and refuses to fuckin' budge. I still don't know about me. That's... I'm working on that part. But I hope he did. It'd be some kinda bullshit if it never happened after all the work he put in to get himself better.
He'd like you. He's a quirky weirdo that's good at making friends, too. Guess I've got a type.
[He GUESSES he's got a type. He GUESSES. Speaking of. ]
That doesn't answer anything?????
no subject
Date: 2026-01-28 08:43 am (UTC)I truly wonder if his heart is at war with itself. He is transplanted from another world entirely. Maybe he's fighting connections here because of that.
[It was good to see Husk accept those feelings about himself. The road to self-betterment is a long one, but reaching specific waypoints was always satisfying to see. Husk deserved that.]
It's good to see the opposite. Your eyes were much more clouded back then. They have a certain clarity to them now. A gold that could rival the world's most lustrous amber.
And knowing I'm in such an exclusive club...why, I couldn't be a happier lantern if I tried. We know who is really stuck with who.
[It's truly not Husk who's the curse in this relationship.]
You truly think so? I'll have to make sure when I meet him that I tell him all the embarrassing things you've done over the years. Staring with that time I got you to meow outside the door.
[He's no longer taking questions on a certain pinecone. Can't ruin the surprise!]
no subject
Date: 2026-01-31 03:19 pm (UTC)Maybe. He mentioned a "Warden" from his home world - spoke about them like they meant a lot to him. But then he also said he ain't that fussed about sharing, so-
[ Husk would have opinions on what he deserves, but even he knows that his opinion of himself isn't exactly fair and his loved ones have very different takes on that.
Oh, and that... was it a compliment? It feels like a compliment. ]
Turning the charm up again, huh? I'll take it. Thanks, Baby.
Eh, you ain't so bad once you get used to you. I just had four decades to do that.
What? No? Fuck off, don't do that! I don't need both of you on that bullshit! And I didn't fucking meow I told you I COUGHED and you heard it wrong.
[ He meowed. He absolutely meowed.]