[ Husk keeps his tail where it is, taking real comfort from the touch. He keeps focusing on his breathing, watching the ship come in and listening to the gentle cadence of Flins' voice.
It's pretty clear that it's not just the boat he's talking about. Husk knows they do need to talk about this...hell, he needs to talk about this. That is why he came here, after all. This is something he'd have dealt with alone originally - which would have ended up with him drunk or gambling. Not a healthy way to deal with things at all.
...Having a partner he can open the vulnerable, hurting parts to is new. He's not sure how to do it, really, but he wants to try. He closes his eyes for a moment, releasing a slow breath. He pats the place next to him, welcoming Flins up if he so wishes. ]
I just- [ he pauses, frowning, trying to find words to explain everything rolling in his chest. ]
I've been so fucking worried about this. About him. What he'd do to all of you if he ever got here, what I'd do to try and stop him from doing that. He was a fucking monster in my past life, one I... I don't even know if I ever got away from. I don't think I did.
[His hand goes to his neck, where the collar was, where it isn't anymore. He's free. And he's supposed to just be able to handle that. Understand what that means. ]
And now I gotta just. Fucking figure out how to process all of that and... what? Make peace with it? Because now he's here and he's not a danger to me or mine. Like, I'm supposed to be able to fuckin' move on from everything he put me through. Just- "there you go! He's here, and he doesn't own your soul anymore, guess you gotta learn to suck it all up!" Like it didn't even fuckin' matter.
[Flins keeps his eyes trained on the sea, watching as that boat passes alongside the lighthouse, the distant cheers of the fisherman after a long day's work mixed with the waning cries of the gulls. He'd stay like this for as long as Husk needed.
In fact, it wasn't too different from their past, was it? The only difference was the lack of a door. His voice is soft, letting a feather glide along his finger as he hears Husk speak up, only to have it catch in his throat.]
Go on.
[A whisper, a gentle push. The same one he'd used when Husk would vent outside his lighthouse years ago.
And he listens once those words spill out. Pain, fear, anger, and disgust that had waited years to lash out against their oppressor, only for there to be no target when that day finally came. It's no wonder Husk is conflicted--anyone, even a fae would be.
The hints of static edge at the tips of his fingers as he continues to stroke, making sure he doesn't shock the cat, but at the same time, making it known that Husk wasn't alone in this anger. Many...so many were with him on the subject. The edge of his eyes have blue flames licking his eyelashes, and it's not until Husk finishes that he exhales, exhaustively, as if sharing in the man's fatigue.]
A hollow victory. He is no longer a danger, getting to roam free, and yet all you gained out of the situation was what had truly been owed to you from the start.
Justice at its core can be cruel.
[He nuzzles gently into that tail, letting the fur brush his cheek again.]
Let us have a moment of time, far removed from the possible, impossible. Where Alastor and his archangel mean nothing. What does your heart want?
[ The lack of a door really does make quite a difference here.
Husk is still inelegant in trying to voice his thoughts. He's not used to doing this, not really. Sure, his kids earn a little more honesty than most, but he doesn't burden them with everything. He's the parent in the situation, it shouldn't be on them to take the weight of all the shit he carries. But Flins speaks with gentle, encouraging words, and it does remind him a lot of the old days. Giving hims a safe space to just... talk. To lay his worries at someone else's feet for a while, someone who won't treat them like they mean nothing. It really IS better without a door there.
He feels the prickle of static electricity as he speaks - the fur at the end of his tail raising from it. It doesn't hurt, though. He welcomes it. Much as he doesn't want his loved ones to put themselves into danger over this, it's... weirdly comforting to know they're angry about this. They're angry for him. It almost makes him believe he's worth something. At least to them. ]
Yeah. There's no catharsis or... fucking anything. And you know the worst part? The worst part is, I actually want to see if he can actually be redeemed. I put... so goddamn much of myself into Charlie's dream. I wanted to believe it's possible for anyone. Even him. [ He looks at his hands, clenching and unclenching the claws. ] But then... what does that fuckin' say for everything he did to me? If he was capable at stopping in the end?
[He believes in Charlie's dream that anyone can be better. But in doing so, it means having to accept a man who had abused him for decades had good in him. That everything that happened to him was done by someone who had some sort of capability to not be a complete monster. How is he supposed to make peace with that?
He stills at Flins' question. Not because it's hard, because it really isn't. It's a depressingly simple answer. Husk doesn't want anything grand, he doesn't need any big houses or fancy cars or wealth beyond his dreams. He doesn't want the power and influence that was once his by right of being an Overlord. No. He wants one simple thing, and yet despite how small and simple it is, it feels like it's always getting away from him.
His ears flicks back as he lets out a slow, shuddery breath. ]
...I just want to be happy, Kyryll. That's all. I was... it felt like I was finally fuckin' getting there, y'know? For the first time in my life, everything was lining up just right. I started to feel good. About my life. Myself. Everything.
And now he's here, and he's just left a fuckin' shadow over everything. Everything I was working towards, and it's just... marred now. Because he's here, reminding me I'm not fuckin' allowed that. The goddamn rug's been pulled out from under me again, just when I thought it was settling. [ He puts his hands to his face, pressing the heel against his eyes. ] And I'm just so fucking tired.
[Flins prefers the inelegant. It was not just Husk that he would listen to each day as he stood guard in the lighthouses of old. His wards, tired and hungry, damaged from being on the run for so long, wondering why fate had it out for them. Why their freedom meant nothing to these people. Why they were hunted for simply seeing the world for what it was.
Sometimes he didn't have all the answers. The way the world worked, and the cruelty of the few were elusive even to a fae of old. But he had enough. A lantern is enough of a light to guide you through the darkness.
He listens. Husk's anger isn't unwarranted. In fact, no one has more right to be frustrated about this as he does. The vitriol he's spitting is from two lifetimes of Alastor having control over him. Sure, the collar wasn't literally there in this lifetime, but the mental grip that deer had on him was ironclad. It's not until Husk finishes that he exhales in thought, frost leaving his lips as he mentally counts the ship lights on the cargo ship leaving the port. Collecting himself before he speaks.]
I will be clear. Any goodwill he harbors will not be of his own effort. It will be because he is forced into it. His own pact with the Archangel proves that.
If Alastor is to be truly redeemed for his actions, if Michael is to truly succeed in this pet project of his, it will not be until you say so. You are one of his greatest sins. You hold the chain to his redemption. Do not lose your grip on that, they are hoping you will let go with this new deal being bartered. That is not to say you should let hate consume you. You're above that.
But... If he cannot pay his dues with you, then he will never, ever be redeemed.
Charity work, Community service, and good deeds are merely drops of freshwater in the ocean. It's laughable if Michael thinks that alone is enough, when you are standing right there.
[He lifts one of those feathers in his tail, pulling it to his lips in a breathless kiss.]
Happiness... is quite a long road. There will be times you may double back, or brief periods where you stop. Times where you feel like the road goes endlessly in both directions, forgetting which way you came from. It will work out.
[ A lantern makes all the difference when everything around you is pitch black. Even the faintest glow can make hope blossom in a hopeless place. Flins has done that for so many people in his life - given them exactly what they needed when they needed it most. Even if he didn't have answers, he had comfort, and sometimes that was what people needed most.
His so angry about it all. About the situation. If he made the right choice. If showing mercy is going to bite him in the ass one day. And he hates that, too. He hates that Alastor has made him question the kindness in his heart. Like it's something he shouldn't trust in. He doesn't speak as Flins makes his point. He listens, quietly, ears moving in his partner's direction, hanging onto his every word.
He knows Flins is right, of course. Alastor's current trajectory is forced. Maybe something will change. Maybe he'll find people in this damned city who will actually help him grow as a person. He doesn't know. He wouldn't put money on it, but maybe the Radio Demon can surprise him. But even then... what he did to Husk won't be so easily altered. He chews on his lip, frowning. It doesn't help that he has to battle through his own self-worth to try and articulate his feelings about this. How much of it this is just avoidance, how much is not believing he's deserving of it anyway. ]
I guess. I'll be honest, I don't even know if I want him to do right by me. Least not right now. I'd be very okay with him existing on one side of the city and me existing on the other and... I don't know. I don't know how to feel about any of this. I don't think there's an easy answer to any of it, it's just... fuckin' messy.
Well see how he goes. Maybe he'll fuck it up in a month and all of you will get to deal with him. Maybe he won't. It's just... a fuckin' miserable unknown, and there's no way of knowing how it'll go until he... does something. I guess it's baby steps. While I figure out how to feel about... all of that.
...I do appreciate the insight, though. It's given me a different perspective to think about.
[ Of course, the happiness isn't an easy answer, either. He knows it wouldn't be. Like all things worth having, it isn't easy to obtain and even harder to keep hold of. He knows that only too well. The kiss pulls a tiny, fleeting smile to his lips. He does, at least, shift his sitting position, so he's less completely curled in on himself. ]
Yeah...I never thought I'd get it at all, truth be fuckin' told. I thought I'd get in the ballpark of it and that'd be it. My kids make me happy, don't get me wrong, of course they do, but there was still something missing. And then you showed up and things got...so much fuckin' brighter. I just wanted to keep enjoying that without any other bullshit lurking in the shadows. Just for a little while longer.
[He lets his hand drop, the fingers of his hand threading gently through Flins' hair. ]
I know. [He says it softly. An acknowledgement.] I got a lot of that love to give in return.
It's...[He pauses, his eyes keeping track of that ship in the distance, as its lights flicker.] Not something you can decide in a night. Certainly not just after it happened.
[Husk wanting nothing to do with Alastor was honestly, probably the most normal thing about this. Even more so that he doesn't even want to watch him develop into a person. That's not Husk's responsibility.]
Let me clarify. You are under no obligation to forgive him, or even acknowledge him. In this situation, with everyone telling you how to feel, the only one you should listen to is your own heart, and what feels right to you. Advice is simply a collection of choices that you take parts from to make your own decision. And know that until you are at peace with things, whatever form that takes, Alastor will not have his redemption.
...
[He traces the little black stripe on Husk's tail in thought.]
I didn't want to say this before, but you should know... the reason you feel so disgusted about this is because you have developed self-respect. You know you deserve better.
[His head tilts into that touch as he listens, trying to hide the creeping smile on his face as those thin fingers thread through his hair.]
Is that so...as a lantern fae, there's no greater honour than bringing light to someone's life. If that's the case, I'll shine even brighter.
[That's all he can really say on that without having to deal with the warmth in his chest. The warmth that was so like the firewater he'd learned to love.]
I'm quite cross with him myself, aside from the obvious. I sent you your next lottery number, and because of these events you were unable to respond.
[Husk lets out a slow breath. Flins is right, he doesn't have to figure this out tonight. In fact, it would be monumentally stupid of him to even try that. He needs to give himself time to think about it. Alastor ain't going anywhere, and he's also no active threat to Husk or his loved ones. He can relax - he doesn't need to be in crisis mode about this any more.]
...Yeah, I'll be honest, I don't even want to try and figure it out tonight. I want to fuckin' sleep.
[He's been running on fumes and terror for hours. He doesn't want to do any more thinking or running around or putting down failsafes. He wants to curl into a nice warm bed and not have to worry about anything else until morning. But Flins does make a point, and he nods.]
I appreciate the advice everyone's giving all the same. I... never thought I'd ever have to deal with this. Like... this outcome, I mean. I think I'll just see how things pan out. Take it a day at a time, y'know? If there's one thing we've all got plenty of, it's time.
[ That next part makes him still. He'd never thought about that, either. Husk's self-loathing has been pretty deep and ceaseless. For two lifetimes. But he realises Flins is right. It's small, a tiny flicker of light in a mass of darkness, but he has started to find a sliver of self-worth in himself. He's been sober for three whole months now, a personal best. He's got a life set up here, that he built for himself. He has a family, he has a home. He has a partner. And a tiny part of him has started to believe that he actually does deserve it. Them. The small smile returns as Flins strokes a finger along his tail, this time staying.
You know you deserve better.]
...That's something new to get used to, as well. I...never thought I'd have to deal with that, either. Day of firsts for me, I guess.
[ He glances back at the sea again, before sliding down to stand on the same level as Flins. He reaches out to brush a hand carefully over his cheek, where his brave bird-related wounds are. What a poor, brave soul.]
That isn't a first, though. You've always been that for me, Kyryll. Just took me a while to see it proper, is all.
[ One feathery eyebrow raises. ] You did? Yeah, I definitely lost that one. My phone got completely fried. I'm gonna have to get a new one. What number was it? Now I'm curious.
[ A chuckle bubbles out of him. ]
Nah, he likes green. That's the colour of his Overlord magic. Pick something that clashes with his everything. Like powder blue or somethin'.
[Flins listens as Husk's breathing evens out. Once the initial panic subsided, he knew Husk would figure out that things didn't have to be answered in one night. They shouldn't be. For tonight, he could simply be.]
I'd say you've earned it.
[He can't provide the warm bed, not here. Unfortunately he hasn't be bullied into insulation just yet. But he'll get Husk calm enough to head back to his bed so he can sleep properly. A metaphorical glass of warm milk.]
You never saw it as an option because you didn't think it was possible. The Black Order seemed so convinced that your contract held through lifetimes. Michael was another variable. [As irritating as it was that he couldn't end that deer's whole career.] What you are seeing now are the fruits of all your good deeds you've done over your life, Husk. So many people would stand with you, as you have stood with them.
...If I'm honest, I quite like this Husk with self-respect. You wear it well.
[Once Husk hops down to stand on level with him, he lets go of that tail, his fingers trailing along those feathers one last time before the cat turns to face him. His cheeks had some decent scratching, and a few peck marks, but otherwise perfectly fine. That cheek does lean into his hand, though, eyes closing at the touch. Husk was always so warm compared to him.]
The number was 41. [His hand goes up to cover Husk's.]
One more week and you'll have them all. Then you just need the order.
[ He already feels a lot better. More stable. Like, finally, he doesn't feel like the whole universe is going to come clattering down around him. One of his big fears of Alastor showing up wasn't for himself, but for what the Radio Demon might do to his loved ones. Would he attack them? Toy with their heads? Force Husk against them? Would he decimate the happiness Husk has built for himself here just for the sake of not letting him have it?
They were unfounded worries - and now he's had some decompression time, he can see they're safe. He'll forever be on his guard with Alastor and the people he loves, should they interact with each other. But at least he doesn't need to be on constant high alert. ]
I reckon I'm gonna sleep for at least ten hours. It's gonna be nice.
[ Flins has done plenty to make Husk feel comfortable enough that he can go back to his bed and sleep. The tension is finally eeking out of him, and he has his partner to thank for that. He does listen to what Flins has to say, taking it all on board. He's still not fully comfortable with everything put in front of him here - that much is clear by how his ears flick back. Husk might gently mock Flins for having no poker face, but Husk's ears are a dead giveaway for his mood nine times out of ten.]
...Not sure how I feel about that good deed thing. I was just doing what was needed to be done. 'Cause the only other option would have been... fuckin' evil. Can you really count it as a good deed if the only other option would make you a terrible person?
[ Yes, idiot. Yes. The compliment does pull a gentle smile out of him, as he feels a happy flutter in his chest.]
Hah. Ain't so sure about that myself yet, but I'm gonna trust your word on that one.
[He runs a thumb, ever so gently, along Flins' cheek. Poor wounded soldier, doing his best to prevent the Great Bird War.]
41. I'll note it down. Hmmm, you're right. That went quicker than I thought it would.
[He stands there for a moment, just smiling at his partner, before stepping forward closer. He wraps his arms around Flins, pressing his face into the crook of his neck and exhaling slowly. He gives the man a gentle squeeze . ]
[Flins leans on the railing, a hand going up to stroke at Husk's cheek in thought. Husk liked to speak about doing what had to be done, but was that not an option in itself? It would be so very easy to not step up to the plate. No one would've thought less of him for refusing to grant Alastor mercy...]
You simply hold yourself to a higher standard than you think. There is a noble heart underneath all that fur, one that refuses to be tainted with the same darkness that Alastor has bathed in.
Is mercy not a good deed in itself?
[He smiles and closes his eyes, leaning into the way Husk cups his cheek. It's soon joined by the cat pressing himself to his body, and those arms instinctively reach around to pull him closer.]
This has always been your sanctuary. It's old, broken in places, and cold. But it's yours.
[Husk falls silent for a moment, mulling over that response. He's been a messy, broken man for two lifetimes. Thinking the better of himself is not something he is prone to doing - even when the good he does is pretty blatantly obvious to everyone around. A part of him wants to push back against this even now, insist that Flins is wrong, that he really doesn't have a noble heart - that he's just a piece of shit who isn't worth anything.
But Flins earlier estimation had been right. Husk has gained a smidgen of self-respect. It's a tiny, half-formed thing - quiet and easily missed. But it's there, wriggling around somewhere in his chest. It feels unsettling and weird, really. He's not used to this. ]
...Suppose you've got me bang to rights on that one, Kyryll. [He leans into the fae's touch with a soft huff. ] Guess I never really thought of it that way. I don't think anyone's called my crusty-ass old heart noble before.
[ Husk isn't generally much of a hugger- but it's been a shitty ass day, and even the most standoffish cat person in the world sometimes just needs a tiny bit of comfort to face the rest of it. Flins comment settles in his heart, wrapping tight around it again. Every damn conversation with this man makes him realise more and more how deeply in trouble he is. A guy could get used to chasing a feeling like this. That's very dangerous. Letting someone in so damn close.
And despite all that, he turns his head to press a gentle kiss on the corner of Flins' mouth. He can make a damn solid guess what the man means. ]
Is that a fact? Guess that means it needs a little extra TLC to help patch it up a little, huh? [He's quiet for a moment, claws playing with the long strands of hair at Flins' back. ] ...Same goes to you, y'know. Always has.
[The lack of argument was a good sign--he'd half expected Husk to debate the semantics on what makes a heart 'noble'. That it couldn't possibly fit him. That he was a has-been, a fraud, or anything else that might make him seem less than what he was truly worth.
It wouldn't fool Flins. He had an eye for the worth of things in this world. He could tell a gemstone's worth from a single glance. Husk's soul? Well...to put a price on something as strong and independent as that would be garish. It was priceless.]
As much as it pains you to know, you are. Much like natural opals found in the earth, once the bedrock and dirt have been removed, it leaves a rather brilliant luster. Though...they were always beautiful, even encased in stone.
His fingers reach up to brush the back of his ear, closing his eyes and letting this feeling soak in. He can't remember the last time he was embraced like this. Perhaps when Phainon would visit his lighthouse, long ago.]
It'll take more than insulation to patch this up. [His eyes close at the kiss, turning just a little to catch it with his own lips.] But if anyone can make this place livable, it's you.
[Husk wants to argue. Good lord, he wants to argue so much. A part of him wants to fight against this feeling growing in him, because it feels like an imposter. But, small and damaged as it is, it is there, and as much as he wants to deny its existence, he really can't anymore.
It might just take him some time to see the beauty Flins does. That comment wrenches deep in his chest. God fucking damnit, he's in so deep with this one. He closes his eyes, letting out a slow exhale, leaning into that touch on his ear.]
...There you go with the poetry again.
[ Making him feel like some sort of beautiful, rare and precious thing when nine times out of ten he feels the exact opposite. A smile tugs at his lips despite that, happy to return the kiss properly. ]
Lucky for you, I'm more than willing to take up the challenge, then.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2025-12-22 09:56 pm (UTC)It's pretty clear that it's not just the boat he's talking about. Husk knows they do need to talk about this...hell, he needs to talk about this. That is why he came here, after all. This is something he'd have dealt with alone originally - which would have ended up with him drunk or gambling. Not a healthy way to deal with things at all.
...Having a partner he can open the vulnerable, hurting parts to is new. He's not sure how to do it, really, but he wants to try. He closes his eyes for a moment, releasing a slow breath. He pats the place next to him, welcoming Flins up if he so wishes. ]
I just- [ he pauses, frowning, trying to find words to explain everything rolling in his chest. ]
I've been so fucking worried about this. About him. What he'd do to all of you if he ever got here, what I'd do to try and stop him from doing that. He was a fucking monster in my past life, one I... I don't even know if I ever got away from. I don't think I did.
[His hand goes to his neck, where the collar was, where it isn't anymore. He's free. And he's supposed to just be able to handle that. Understand what that means. ]
And now I gotta just. Fucking figure out how to process all of that and... what? Make peace with it? Because now he's here and he's not a danger to me or mine. Like, I'm supposed to be able to fuckin' move on from everything he put me through. Just- "there you go! He's here, and he doesn't own your soul anymore, guess you gotta learn to suck it all up!" Like it didn't even fuckin' matter.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-22 10:34 pm (UTC)In fact, it wasn't too different from their past, was it? The only difference was the lack of a door. His voice is soft, letting a feather glide along his finger as he hears Husk speak up, only to have it catch in his throat.]
Go on.
[A whisper, a gentle push. The same one he'd used when Husk would vent outside his lighthouse years ago.
And he listens once those words spill out. Pain, fear, anger, and disgust that had waited years to lash out against their oppressor, only for there to be no target when that day finally came. It's no wonder Husk is conflicted--anyone, even a fae would be.
The hints of static edge at the tips of his fingers as he continues to stroke, making sure he doesn't shock the cat, but at the same time, making it known that Husk wasn't alone in this anger. Many...so many were with him on the subject. The edge of his eyes have blue flames licking his eyelashes, and it's not until Husk finishes that he exhales, exhaustively, as if sharing in the man's fatigue.]
A hollow victory. He is no longer a danger, getting to roam free, and yet all you gained out of the situation was what had truly been owed to you from the start.
Justice at its core can be cruel.
[He nuzzles gently into that tail, letting the fur brush his cheek again.]
Let us have a moment of time, far removed from the possible, impossible. Where Alastor and his archangel mean nothing. What does your heart want?
no subject
Date: 2025-12-22 11:32 pm (UTC)Husk is still inelegant in trying to voice his thoughts. He's not used to doing this, not really. Sure, his kids earn a little more honesty than most, but he doesn't burden them with everything. He's the parent in the situation, it shouldn't be on them to take the weight of all the shit he carries. But Flins speaks with gentle, encouraging words, and it does remind him a lot of the old days. Giving hims a safe space to just... talk. To lay his worries at someone else's feet for a while, someone who won't treat them like they mean nothing. It really IS better without a door there.
He feels the prickle of static electricity as he speaks - the fur at the end of his tail raising from it. It doesn't hurt, though. He welcomes it. Much as he doesn't want his loved ones to put themselves into danger over this, it's... weirdly comforting to know they're angry about this. They're angry for him. It almost makes him believe he's worth something. At least to them. ]
Yeah. There's no catharsis or... fucking anything. And you know the worst part? The worst part is, I actually want to see if he can actually be redeemed. I put... so goddamn much of myself into Charlie's dream. I wanted to believe it's possible for anyone. Even him. [ He looks at his hands, clenching and unclenching the claws. ] But then... what does that fuckin' say for everything he did to me? If he was capable at stopping in the end?
[He believes in Charlie's dream that anyone can be better. But in doing so, it means having to accept a man who had abused him for decades had good in him. That everything that happened to him was done by someone who had some sort of capability to not be a complete monster. How is he supposed to make peace with that?
He stills at Flins' question. Not because it's hard, because it really isn't. It's a depressingly simple answer. Husk doesn't want anything grand, he doesn't need any big houses or fancy cars or wealth beyond his dreams. He doesn't want the power and influence that was once his by right of being an Overlord. No. He wants one simple thing, and yet despite how small and simple it is, it feels like it's always getting away from him.
His ears flicks back as he lets out a slow, shuddery breath. ]
...I just want to be happy, Kyryll. That's all. I was... it felt like I was finally fuckin' getting there, y'know? For the first time in my life, everything was lining up just right. I started to feel good. About my life. Myself. Everything.
And now he's here, and he's just left a fuckin' shadow over everything. Everything I was working towards, and it's just... marred now. Because he's here, reminding me I'm not fuckin' allowed that. The goddamn rug's been pulled out from under me again, just when I thought it was settling. [ He puts his hands to his face, pressing the heel against his eyes. ] And I'm just so fucking tired.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-23 12:02 am (UTC)Sometimes he didn't have all the answers. The way the world worked, and the cruelty of the few were elusive even to a fae of old. But he had enough. A lantern is enough of a light to guide you through the darkness.
He listens. Husk's anger isn't unwarranted. In fact, no one has more right to be frustrated about this as he does. The vitriol he's spitting is from two lifetimes of Alastor having control over him. Sure, the collar wasn't literally there in this lifetime, but the mental grip that deer had on him was ironclad. It's not until Husk finishes that he exhales in thought, frost leaving his lips as he mentally counts the ship lights on the cargo ship leaving the port. Collecting himself before he speaks.]
I will be clear. Any goodwill he harbors will not be of his own effort. It will be because he is forced into it. His own pact with the Archangel proves that.
If Alastor is to be truly redeemed for his actions, if Michael is to truly succeed in this pet project of his, it will not be until you say so. You are one of his greatest sins. You hold the chain to his redemption. Do not lose your grip on that, they are hoping you will let go with this new deal being bartered. That is not to say you should let hate consume you. You're above that.
But... If he cannot pay his dues with you, then he will never, ever be redeemed.
Charity work, Community service, and good deeds are merely drops of freshwater in the ocean. It's laughable if Michael thinks that alone is enough, when you are standing right there.
[He lifts one of those feathers in his tail, pulling it to his lips in a breathless kiss.]
Happiness... is quite a long road. There will be times you may double back, or brief periods where you stop. Times where you feel like the road goes endlessly in both directions, forgetting which way you came from. It will work out.
Because you, unlike him....are very well loved.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-23 01:13 am (UTC)His so angry about it all. About the situation. If he made the right choice. If showing mercy is going to bite him in the ass one day. And he hates that, too. He hates that Alastor has made him question the kindness in his heart. Like it's something he shouldn't trust in. He doesn't speak as Flins makes his point. He listens, quietly, ears moving in his partner's direction, hanging onto his every word.
He knows Flins is right, of course. Alastor's current trajectory is forced. Maybe something will change. Maybe he'll find people in this damned city who will actually help him grow as a person. He doesn't know. He wouldn't put money on it, but maybe the Radio Demon can surprise him. But even then... what he did to Husk won't be so easily altered. He chews on his lip, frowning. It doesn't help that he has to battle through his own self-worth to try and articulate his feelings about this. How much of it this is just avoidance, how much is not believing he's deserving of it anyway. ]
I guess. I'll be honest, I don't even know if I want him to do right by me. Least not right now. I'd be very okay with him existing on one side of the city and me existing on the other and... I don't know. I don't know how to feel about any of this. I don't think there's an easy answer to any of it, it's just... fuckin' messy.
Well see how he goes. Maybe he'll fuck it up in a month and all of you will get to deal with him. Maybe he won't. It's just... a fuckin' miserable unknown, and there's no way of knowing how it'll go until he... does something. I guess it's baby steps. While I figure out how to feel about... all of that.
...I do appreciate the insight, though. It's given me a different perspective to think about.
[ Of course, the happiness isn't an easy answer, either. He knows it wouldn't be. Like all things worth having, it isn't easy to obtain and even harder to keep hold of. He knows that only too well. The kiss pulls a tiny, fleeting smile to his lips. He does, at least, shift his sitting position, so he's less completely curled in on himself. ]
Yeah...I never thought I'd get it at all, truth be fuckin' told. I thought I'd get in the ballpark of it and that'd be it. My kids make me happy, don't get me wrong, of course they do, but there was still something missing. And then you showed up and things got...so much fuckin' brighter. I just wanted to keep enjoying that without any other bullshit lurking in the shadows. Just for a little while longer.
[He lets his hand drop, the fingers of his hand threading gently through Flins' hair. ]
I know. [He says it softly. An acknowledgement.] I got a lot of that love to give in return.
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Date: 2025-12-23 05:17 am (UTC)[Husk wanting nothing to do with Alastor was honestly, probably the most normal thing about this. Even more so that he doesn't even want to watch him develop into a person. That's not Husk's responsibility.]
Let me clarify. You are under no obligation to forgive him, or even acknowledge him. In this situation, with everyone telling you how to feel, the only one you should listen to is your own heart, and what feels right to you. Advice is simply a collection of choices that you take parts from to make your own decision. And know that until you are at peace with things, whatever form that takes, Alastor will not have his redemption.
...
[He traces the little black stripe on Husk's tail in thought.]
I didn't want to say this before, but you should know... the reason you feel so disgusted about this is because you have developed self-respect. You know you deserve better.
[His head tilts into that touch as he listens, trying to hide the creeping smile on his face as those thin fingers thread through his hair.]
Is that so...as a lantern fae, there's no greater honour than bringing light to someone's life. If that's the case, I'll shine even brighter.
[That's all he can really say on that without having to deal with the warmth in his chest. The warmth that was so like the firewater he'd learned to love.]
I'm quite cross with him myself, aside from the obvious. I sent you your next lottery number, and because of these events you were unable to respond.
Perhaps I'll turn his hair green.
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Date: 2025-12-23 08:34 pm (UTC)...Yeah, I'll be honest, I don't even want to try and figure it out tonight. I want to fuckin' sleep.
[He's been running on fumes and terror for hours. He doesn't want to do any more thinking or running around or putting down failsafes. He wants to curl into a nice warm bed and not have to worry about anything else until morning. But Flins does make a point, and he nods.]
I appreciate the advice everyone's giving all the same. I... never thought I'd ever have to deal with this. Like... this outcome, I mean. I think I'll just see how things pan out. Take it a day at a time, y'know? If there's one thing we've all got plenty of, it's time.
[ That next part makes him still. He'd never thought about that, either. Husk's self-loathing has been pretty deep and ceaseless. For two lifetimes. But he realises Flins is right. It's small, a tiny flicker of light in a mass of darkness, but he has started to find a sliver of self-worth in himself. He's been sober for three whole months now, a personal best. He's got a life set up here, that he built for himself. He has a family, he has a home. He has a partner. And a tiny part of him has started to believe that he actually does deserve it. Them. The small smile returns as Flins strokes a finger along his tail, this time staying.
You know you deserve better.]
...That's something new to get used to, as well. I...never thought I'd have to deal with that, either. Day of firsts for me, I guess.
[ He glances back at the sea again, before sliding down to stand on the same level as Flins. He reaches out to brush a hand carefully over his cheek, where his brave bird-related wounds are. What a poor, brave soul.]
That isn't a first, though. You've always been that for me, Kyryll. Just took me a while to see it proper, is all.
[ One feathery eyebrow raises. ] You did? Yeah, I definitely lost that one. My phone got completely fried. I'm gonna have to get a new one. What number was it? Now I'm curious.
[ A chuckle bubbles out of him. ]
Nah, he likes green. That's the colour of his Overlord magic. Pick something that clashes with his everything. Like powder blue or somethin'.
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Date: 2025-12-25 07:32 am (UTC)I'd say you've earned it.
[He can't provide the warm bed, not here. Unfortunately he hasn't be bullied into insulation just yet. But he'll get Husk calm enough to head back to his bed so he can sleep properly. A metaphorical glass of warm milk.]
You never saw it as an option because you didn't think it was possible. The Black Order seemed so convinced that your contract held through lifetimes. Michael was another variable. [As irritating as it was that he couldn't end that deer's whole career.] What you are seeing now are the fruits of all your good deeds you've done over your life, Husk. So many people would stand with you, as you have stood with them.
...If I'm honest, I quite like this Husk with self-respect. You wear it well.
[Once Husk hops down to stand on level with him, he lets go of that tail, his fingers trailing along those feathers one last time before the cat turns to face him. His cheeks had some decent scratching, and a few peck marks, but otherwise perfectly fine. That cheek does lean into his hand, though, eyes closing at the touch. Husk was always so warm compared to him.]
The number was 41. [His hand goes up to cover Husk's.]
One more week and you'll have them all. Then you just need the order.
[Mental note: Powder Blue.]
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Date: 2025-12-25 10:18 pm (UTC)They were unfounded worries - and now he's had some decompression time, he can see they're safe. He'll forever be on his guard with Alastor and the people he loves, should they interact with each other. But at least he doesn't need to be on constant high alert. ]
I reckon I'm gonna sleep for at least ten hours. It's gonna be nice.
[ Flins has done plenty to make Husk feel comfortable enough that he can go back to his bed and sleep. The tension is finally eeking out of him, and he has his partner to thank for that. He does listen to what Flins has to say, taking it all on board. He's still not fully comfortable with everything put in front of him here - that much is clear by how his ears flick back. Husk might gently mock Flins for having no poker face, but Husk's ears are a dead giveaway for his mood nine times out of ten.]
...Not sure how I feel about that good deed thing. I was just doing what was needed to be done. 'Cause the only other option would have been... fuckin' evil. Can you really count it as a good deed if the only other option would make you a terrible person?
[ Yes, idiot. Yes. The compliment does pull a gentle smile out of him, as he feels a happy flutter in his chest.]
Hah. Ain't so sure about that myself yet, but I'm gonna trust your word on that one.
[He runs a thumb, ever so gently, along Flins' cheek. Poor wounded soldier, doing his best to prevent the Great Bird War.]
41. I'll note it down. Hmmm, you're right. That went quicker than I thought it would.
[He stands there for a moment, just smiling at his partner, before stepping forward closer. He wraps his arms around Flins, pressing his face into the crook of his neck and exhaling slowly. He gives the man a gentle squeeze . ]
Thanks, mоя любовь. I...really needed this.
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Date: 2025-12-27 09:35 pm (UTC)[Flins leans on the railing, a hand going up to stroke at Husk's cheek in thought. Husk liked to speak about doing what had to be done, but was that not an option in itself? It would be so very easy to not step up to the plate. No one would've thought less of him for refusing to grant Alastor mercy...]
You simply hold yourself to a higher standard than you think. There is a noble heart underneath all that fur, one that refuses to be tainted with the same darkness that Alastor has bathed in.
Is mercy not a good deed in itself?
[He smiles and closes his eyes, leaning into the way Husk cups his cheek. It's soon joined by the cat pressing himself to his body, and those arms instinctively reach around to pull him closer.]
This has always been your sanctuary. It's old, broken in places, and cold. But it's yours.
[Is he talking about the lighthouse, or himself?]
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Date: 2025-12-28 09:54 pm (UTC)But Flins earlier estimation had been right. Husk has gained a smidgen of self-respect. It's a tiny, half-formed thing - quiet and easily missed. But it's there, wriggling around somewhere in his chest. It feels unsettling and weird, really. He's not used to this. ]
...Suppose you've got me bang to rights on that one, Kyryll. [He leans into the fae's touch with a soft huff. ] Guess I never really thought of it that way. I don't think anyone's called my crusty-ass old heart noble before.
[ Husk isn't generally much of a hugger- but it's been a shitty ass day, and even the most standoffish cat person in the world sometimes just needs a tiny bit of comfort to face the rest of it. Flins comment settles in his heart, wrapping tight around it again. Every damn conversation with this man makes him realise more and more how deeply in trouble he is. A guy could get used to chasing a feeling like this. That's very dangerous. Letting someone in so damn close.
And despite all that, he turns his head to press a gentle kiss on the corner of Flins' mouth. He can make a damn solid guess what the man means. ]
Is that a fact? Guess that means it needs a little extra TLC to help patch it up a little, huh? [He's quiet for a moment, claws playing with the long strands of hair at Flins' back. ] ...Same goes to you, y'know. Always has.
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Date: 2025-12-29 12:21 am (UTC)It wouldn't fool Flins. He had an eye for the worth of things in this world. He could tell a gemstone's worth from a single glance. Husk's soul? Well...to put a price on something as strong and independent as that would be garish. It was priceless.]
As much as it pains you to know, you are. Much like natural opals found in the earth, once the bedrock and dirt have been removed, it leaves a rather brilliant luster. Though...they were always beautiful, even encased in stone.
His fingers reach up to brush the back of his ear, closing his eyes and letting this feeling soak in. He can't remember the last time he was embraced like this. Perhaps when Phainon would visit his lighthouse, long ago.]
It'll take more than insulation to patch this up. [His eyes close at the kiss, turning just a little to catch it with his own lips.] But if anyone can make this place livable, it's you.
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Date: 2025-12-29 01:27 am (UTC)It might just take him some time to see the beauty Flins does. That comment wrenches deep in his chest. God fucking damnit, he's in so deep with this one. He closes his eyes, letting out a slow exhale, leaning into that touch on his ear.]
...There you go with the poetry again.
[ Making him feel like some sort of beautiful, rare and precious thing when nine times out of ten he feels the exact opposite. A smile tugs at his lips despite that, happy to return the kiss properly. ]
Lucky for you, I'm more than willing to take up the challenge, then.