[ A lantern makes all the difference when everything around you is pitch black. Even the faintest glow can make hope blossom in a hopeless place. Flins has done that for so many people in his life - given them exactly what they needed when they needed it most. Even if he didn't have answers, he had comfort, and sometimes that was what people needed most.
His so angry about it all. About the situation. If he made the right choice. If showing mercy is going to bite him in the ass one day. And he hates that, too. He hates that Alastor has made him question the kindness in his heart. Like it's something he shouldn't trust in. He doesn't speak as Flins makes his point. He listens, quietly, ears moving in his partner's direction, hanging onto his every word.
He knows Flins is right, of course. Alastor's current trajectory is forced. Maybe something will change. Maybe he'll find people in this damned city who will actually help him grow as a person. He doesn't know. He wouldn't put money on it, but maybe the Radio Demon can surprise him. But even then... what he did to Husk won't be so easily altered. He chews on his lip, frowning. It doesn't help that he has to battle through his own self-worth to try and articulate his feelings about this. How much of it this is just avoidance, how much is not believing he's deserving of it anyway. ]
I guess. I'll be honest, I don't even know if I want him to do right by me. Least not right now. I'd be very okay with him existing on one side of the city and me existing on the other and... I don't know. I don't know how to feel about any of this. I don't think there's an easy answer to any of it, it's just... fuckin' messy.
Well see how he goes. Maybe he'll fuck it up in a month and all of you will get to deal with him. Maybe he won't. It's just... a fuckin' miserable unknown, and there's no way of knowing how it'll go until he... does something. I guess it's baby steps. While I figure out how to feel about... all of that.
...I do appreciate the insight, though. It's given me a different perspective to think about.
[ Of course, the happiness isn't an easy answer, either. He knows it wouldn't be. Like all things worth having, it isn't easy to obtain and even harder to keep hold of. He knows that only too well. The kiss pulls a tiny, fleeting smile to his lips. He does, at least, shift his sitting position, so he's less completely curled in on himself. ]
Yeah...I never thought I'd get it at all, truth be fuckin' told. I thought I'd get in the ballpark of it and that'd be it. My kids make me happy, don't get me wrong, of course they do, but there was still something missing. And then you showed up and things got...so much fuckin' brighter. I just wanted to keep enjoying that without any other bullshit lurking in the shadows. Just for a little while longer.
[He lets his hand drop, the fingers of his hand threading gently through Flins' hair. ]
I know. [He says it softly. An acknowledgement.] I got a lot of that love to give in return.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2025-12-23 01:13 am (UTC)His so angry about it all. About the situation. If he made the right choice. If showing mercy is going to bite him in the ass one day. And he hates that, too. He hates that Alastor has made him question the kindness in his heart. Like it's something he shouldn't trust in. He doesn't speak as Flins makes his point. He listens, quietly, ears moving in his partner's direction, hanging onto his every word.
He knows Flins is right, of course. Alastor's current trajectory is forced. Maybe something will change. Maybe he'll find people in this damned city who will actually help him grow as a person. He doesn't know. He wouldn't put money on it, but maybe the Radio Demon can surprise him. But even then... what he did to Husk won't be so easily altered. He chews on his lip, frowning. It doesn't help that he has to battle through his own self-worth to try and articulate his feelings about this. How much of it this is just avoidance, how much is not believing he's deserving of it anyway. ]
I guess. I'll be honest, I don't even know if I want him to do right by me. Least not right now. I'd be very okay with him existing on one side of the city and me existing on the other and... I don't know. I don't know how to feel about any of this. I don't think there's an easy answer to any of it, it's just... fuckin' messy.
Well see how he goes. Maybe he'll fuck it up in a month and all of you will get to deal with him. Maybe he won't. It's just... a fuckin' miserable unknown, and there's no way of knowing how it'll go until he... does something. I guess it's baby steps. While I figure out how to feel about... all of that.
...I do appreciate the insight, though. It's given me a different perspective to think about.
[ Of course, the happiness isn't an easy answer, either. He knows it wouldn't be. Like all things worth having, it isn't easy to obtain and even harder to keep hold of. He knows that only too well. The kiss pulls a tiny, fleeting smile to his lips. He does, at least, shift his sitting position, so he's less completely curled in on himself. ]
Yeah...I never thought I'd get it at all, truth be fuckin' told. I thought I'd get in the ballpark of it and that'd be it. My kids make me happy, don't get me wrong, of course they do, but there was still something missing. And then you showed up and things got...so much fuckin' brighter. I just wanted to keep enjoying that without any other bullshit lurking in the shadows. Just for a little while longer.
[He lets his hand drop, the fingers of his hand threading gently through Flins' hair. ]
I know. [He says it softly. An acknowledgement.] I got a lot of that love to give in return.