[ The lack of a door really does make quite a difference here.
Husk is still inelegant in trying to voice his thoughts. He's not used to doing this, not really. Sure, his kids earn a little more honesty than most, but he doesn't burden them with everything. He's the parent in the situation, it shouldn't be on them to take the weight of all the shit he carries. But Flins speaks with gentle, encouraging words, and it does remind him a lot of the old days. Giving hims a safe space to just... talk. To lay his worries at someone else's feet for a while, someone who won't treat them like they mean nothing. It really IS better without a door there.
He feels the prickle of static electricity as he speaks - the fur at the end of his tail raising from it. It doesn't hurt, though. He welcomes it. Much as he doesn't want his loved ones to put themselves into danger over this, it's... weirdly comforting to know they're angry about this. They're angry for him. It almost makes him believe he's worth something. At least to them. ]
Yeah. There's no catharsis or... fucking anything. And you know the worst part? The worst part is, I actually want to see if he can actually be redeemed. I put... so goddamn much of myself into Charlie's dream. I wanted to believe it's possible for anyone. Even him. [ He looks at his hands, clenching and unclenching the claws. ] But then... what does that fuckin' say for everything he did to me? If he was capable at stopping in the end?
[He believes in Charlie's dream that anyone can be better. But in doing so, it means having to accept a man who had abused him for decades had good in him. That everything that happened to him was done by someone who had some sort of capability to not be a complete monster. How is he supposed to make peace with that?
He stills at Flins' question. Not because it's hard, because it really isn't. It's a depressingly simple answer. Husk doesn't want anything grand, he doesn't need any big houses or fancy cars or wealth beyond his dreams. He doesn't want the power and influence that was once his by right of being an Overlord. No. He wants one simple thing, and yet despite how small and simple it is, it feels like it's always getting away from him.
His ears flicks back as he lets out a slow, shuddery breath. ]
...I just want to be happy, Kyryll. That's all. I was... it felt like I was finally fuckin' getting there, y'know? For the first time in my life, everything was lining up just right. I started to feel good. About my life. Myself. Everything.
And now he's here, and he's just left a fuckin' shadow over everything. Everything I was working towards, and it's just... marred now. Because he's here, reminding me I'm not fuckin' allowed that. The goddamn rug's been pulled out from under me again, just when I thought it was settling. [ He puts his hands to his face, pressing the heel against his eyes. ] And I'm just so fucking tired.
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Date: 2025-12-22 11:32 pm (UTC)Husk is still inelegant in trying to voice his thoughts. He's not used to doing this, not really. Sure, his kids earn a little more honesty than most, but he doesn't burden them with everything. He's the parent in the situation, it shouldn't be on them to take the weight of all the shit he carries. But Flins speaks with gentle, encouraging words, and it does remind him a lot of the old days. Giving hims a safe space to just... talk. To lay his worries at someone else's feet for a while, someone who won't treat them like they mean nothing. It really IS better without a door there.
He feels the prickle of static electricity as he speaks - the fur at the end of his tail raising from it. It doesn't hurt, though. He welcomes it. Much as he doesn't want his loved ones to put themselves into danger over this, it's... weirdly comforting to know they're angry about this. They're angry for him. It almost makes him believe he's worth something. At least to them. ]
Yeah. There's no catharsis or... fucking anything. And you know the worst part? The worst part is, I actually want to see if he can actually be redeemed. I put... so goddamn much of myself into Charlie's dream. I wanted to believe it's possible for anyone. Even him. [ He looks at his hands, clenching and unclenching the claws. ] But then... what does that fuckin' say for everything he did to me? If he was capable at stopping in the end?
[He believes in Charlie's dream that anyone can be better. But in doing so, it means having to accept a man who had abused him for decades had good in him. That everything that happened to him was done by someone who had some sort of capability to not be a complete monster. How is he supposed to make peace with that?
He stills at Flins' question. Not because it's hard, because it really isn't. It's a depressingly simple answer. Husk doesn't want anything grand, he doesn't need any big houses or fancy cars or wealth beyond his dreams. He doesn't want the power and influence that was once his by right of being an Overlord. No. He wants one simple thing, and yet despite how small and simple it is, it feels like it's always getting away from him.
His ears flicks back as he lets out a slow, shuddery breath. ]
...I just want to be happy, Kyryll. That's all. I was... it felt like I was finally fuckin' getting there, y'know? For the first time in my life, everything was lining up just right. I started to feel good. About my life. Myself. Everything.
And now he's here, and he's just left a fuckin' shadow over everything. Everything I was working towards, and it's just... marred now. Because he's here, reminding me I'm not fuckin' allowed that. The goddamn rug's been pulled out from under me again, just when I thought it was settling. [ He puts his hands to his face, pressing the heel against his eyes. ] And I'm just so fucking tired.